Failure

as most ppl know, im being an accompanist for a friend
as a favor
cus my mom made me
now
my dad says im gonna fail at this
he says:
i dont practice nearly enough
and
i will fail in front of everyone
i will let down everyone
they will laugh at me
a ton of people will be there
they know how to play piano
they will laugh at my playing
that
i suck at playing
and
i will be scolded
that everyone is better than me
that i cant play piano right
i will be a dissapointment

now
he has me feeling pretty down
i really will fail at this
i cant do it
it makes me sad
if i cant
what will happen?

i feel sad
he made me cry

Skinniness

how skinny is skinny?
Is it an extablished ideal, or something to be scared of?
Some people envy others who are "skinny" but some rapidly eat to gain weight
Why?
What if people are fine the way they are but some way they are too "skinny"?
My mom regales me with stories of bone density and people who break bones when they fall
she says Im too skinny
and my complexion is too yellow
buuuuut what if that is my skin tone cuz im AZN?
-.-
she just talked about that at dinner
I stop eating when I am full
or when i am NOT HUNGRY
i told her but she is like "your mind thinks you are not hungry but you are"
look at how little you eat!
etc
-sigh-
I know some people suffer from the opposite problem
but
I KNOW I AM FINE
I AM PERFECTLY FINE THE WAY I AM
I EAT ENOUGH
x.x
am I too skinny?
most people say i am normal
My mom says "you are all bones!"
i say, its a teenage metabolism
end